Friendship is vital to life. Supportive and caring friends do wonders in helping someone through life. I'm blessed to have a few friends in my life.
The holidays are hard for some people. I never considered it hard for myself because I haven't lost a close family member and most times that is the reason portrayed for why people have a hard time during the holidays.
In reality I think I must say it is hard. I just realized tonight. Someone asked me how long I will leave my Christmas tree up. I told him I took it down this morning. He was shocked.
It's the first year I ever felt the "liberty in Christ" to put up a tree even tho it was just a tiny dollar store one. I took it down because I was tired of seeing it. And I wanted to move the table it was on.
I think it reminded me of too many things I wish for but don't have as well as painful memories. I usually don't go home for the holidays. It is too painful. I wish it wasn't.
I wish I had a family where we could sit around and open gifts and know the next person genuinely cares and loves me as a person but it will take miracles for that to happen. A few hearts being born again would do the trick.
I wasn't sure if I should go to Christmas Eve service tonight because of health but the loneliness won and I went. I'm glad I did. My first Christmas eve service in my life.
I didn't know what to expect. It was hard realizing how much I wished I could be with family on Christmas day. But in the midst of the grief there were bright spots that comforted me.
Standing in a circle with my church family in the glow of flickering candles singing Silent Night.
People so kindly wishing me a Merry Christmas.
One lady stepping out of her way to give me a big hug.
Another lady handing me a heavy bag and wishing me a Merry Christmas. When I get home I find it a mirrored tray with a silver plated teapot with sugar and creamer set. And I realized that I'm actually collecting teapots and teacups. Why?
Teacups and teapots speak of relationships and friends. Time spent with others getting to know them and to be known. Being vulnerable. Serving. Caring. Loving. Things I've never had but long for and am beginning to experience in a healing way for which I thank God for He is the ultimate Healer but He has so many tools He uses to bring it about.
Christmas is about healing. A day we celebrate the birth of Christ. Why? He came to heal the broken and the abused. He came to give liberty to the captives and slaves. He came to change hearts from stone to flesh. He came to bring hope and life to those who had none. He came to save us from our sins because He loved us so much and wants us to spend eternity with Him. He came to comfort those who mourn. He came to give us another chance at life. He came to change the course of humanity. If He hadn't I probably wouldn't be alive anymore...
Merry Christmas to all!
Ps. The table is ready for tea, just saying...
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